OUCH! That's gonna leave a mark!

As I was thinking about starting this blog I was worried about a couple things. First; “Will anyone really care what I have to say?” And second; “Will I be able to keep up with new and fresh things to say?” Both of these questions are rooted in my own insecurities about myself. God finds funny ways of speaking to us, if we will just open ourselves to hear Him. I received a text message from Casey, the young man that is courting Jenni. The details of the text aren’t important. And I really didn’t hear God speak through the conversation that followed either. It was a statement Sherri made this morning that just hit me square in the forehead. She said that Jenni had chosen (God really did the choosing) a young man that was very much like me!

I have led a life full of adventure, joy, excitement, and even disappointment. Unfortunately I tend to dwell on the disappointment. This is due to a great lack of self-confidence. I worry about what people will think of me and how they might react. Some that know me may not believe it, but I really do care what you think. And I tend to over compensate by being extra boisterous or even cocky. I know what I want, but usually miss out because of fear.

So, how does this fit in with God speaking? Well, it was within the advice I gave Casey, and the reminder from Sherri, that God spoke…….LOUDLY! I have a pride issue. I have a need to be liked, a need to be first, a need to be seen, and a need to be right. No other explanation than pride. Talk about an ear buster!

So, how do I take care of this pride issue? What was this “great” advice? Simple………shut up and let go of my rights, since I don’t really have any rights to begin with, except those given by God. If I would just allow God to give me friends and stop pursuing them I might find myself in a larger circle. And if I would stop worrying about how big or small my circle is, God just might expand what I already have. Most people don’t know the real me. Funny thing is, I’m not sure who the real me is any more. I have spent so much of my life trying to be someone that everyone else would like I have lost myself.

This blog will be filled with my thoughts and observations. It may just be updates on my travels. I hope to share what God shows me as I travel across this great land. To sum it up, this blog will be a window into the real me. Hope you enjoy.